I am beginning to wonder if a very basic difference between some versions of philosophies which may be associated with a religion or not is the assumption made about our innate goodness or lack thereof.
If the assumption is that we are all at our core good people, than you don’t need all these threats, shaming, and blaming to convince people to be good because ultimately they are all already wishing for the good (however effectively we may have defined that notion of the good). The idea is that we have a tendency towards wishing for happiness, wishing not to suffer. So a person by their very nature would tend towards these things without having to be yelled at about them and threatened and judged.
In fact judging and not trusting closes up someone’s natural tendencies to be open and kind and do good and puts them in a defensive secretive combative state.
Rules can be set up that you have to be this or that to be happy or good. Someone told me about a Rabbi saying to a class if you want to be Jewish you can’t have a Christmas tree. That seems true doesn’t it, like it you want to dance the Cha Cha you can’t put on a karate outfit and tap shoes and go dance the Cha Cha. It is just not the Cha Cha anymore than it is something else.
What I want to ask is isn’t happiness hard enough to attain without feeling forced to add rules to the point where you are miserable? If it really makes you miserable to try to follow a large group of “live up to’s”, than how is that setting you free? How is that filling your heart with love?
Ed Brown comes along and says how can we find and grow ourselves when we won’t let ourselves sit at the table? When the only one we want to see there is that one we want/ought/should be. That is the one, that person is not allowed. Get out of here! Well how is that going to work? How do we get it so that on the one hand we say that person isn’t allowed to be and on the other we say be the best person you can be?
There is a guy yelling at a street corner nearby to anyone passing by that they are all sinners and going to hell and that we should be ashamed of ourselves and we are proud and selfish, etc. just yelling and yelling these things at the top of his lungs holding upright a huge sign with similar threats in writing. As I listened I thought he is right we have problems. I think one of the biggest ones is our lack of love and compassion and kindness. It has not worked for me to be yelled at by myself or by anyone else to develop those things. And yet I think if you really develop love and compassion for yourself and others then when you go to volunteer it will be truly out of love and not out of fear of being judged. You would then have love to offer instead of anger, resentment and fear.
1 Comment
July 13, 2007 at 8:44 pm
I think the assumptions about our innate goodness or lack thereof is at the heart of the differences between religious philosophies. I am fond of saying that I believe everyone naturally wants to be happy, healthy, and loved and if they are behaving in ways that will not result in happiness, health, and love it’s because something rotten happened to them. I figure the most dysfunctional and even the most dangerous people had a lot of help getting that way. This point of view has helped me to touch on some compassion for individuals that are difficult to love.
So lets say you know someone who is behaving in a manner that will not bring them happiness, health, or love. Perhaps their behavior is also bringing down those around them. What to do what to do? I’m liberal. I don’t like being told what to do. The golden rule makes sense to me so I’ve generally avoided telling other people how to run their lives. If I find their behavior irritating I push them away. But I’m now rethinking this method of operation. Could there ever be a time when being angry served a useful purpose? Could I bully someone into making better choices for themselves? Could threats or humiliation ever be a wise course of action? Do the ends ever justify the means? Is my desire to appear kind and compassionate and not hypocritical keeping me from connecting with other individuals? And if we’re all one anyway what difference does it make?
VW